All anger is misplaced emotions. Controlling your anger depends on how well you control your interactions. Did something happen that made you frustrated, sad, confused, or disappointed? Then, instead of reacting constructively to THAT thing, did you get angry?
You have to start looking at each situation through a different pair of glasses. When someone does something that frustrates you tell them, if you can do so constructively. If someone makes you sad, process those emotions and make a conscious decision on what to do next. That way you control your future.
If you let everyday situations cause you to get angry, you are living a reactionary life; you are letting everyone around you control you. If you let them make you angry, the world will make your whole life miserable.
The trick is to not be reactionary. Understand that people are going to do things that upset you. It isn’t about letting them get away with whatever they did, it’s about not letting what they did effect you. Sometimes, though, that is much easier said than done, but that is what we have God for, so here are some scriptures and inspiration on how to keep your cool.
- Ephesians 4:26-27
- 26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:27 Neither give place to the devil.
We will be angry sometimes. It’s what reactions we have that determine whether we sin or not. If we can handle our emotions in a healthy way and resolve the situation quickly, that is most pleasing to God, and most peaceful for us.
- James 1:19-20
- 19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.
A person who learns to think before they speak is a wise person. When you’re with others listen to them and try to understand every persons story. Understand who they are and why they feel the way they do. This will help you to aviod conflict, or at least, help to control your anger if involved in one.
- Proverbs 19:11
- 11 The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.
If you can overcome confrontation it becomes very empowering. Not letting those peoples thoughts or actions effect you is really a kind of freedom and it is so rare to find someone capable of doing that. God will bless you for it.
- Ecclesiastes 7:9
- 9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
I think a lot of people struggle with anger because they let their reactions control them, and they do this because they don’t want to feel like they are letting people run them over. That feeling is not the reality of the situation, though.
The reality is that people who are hot headed usually end up in confrontations that unnecessary because they felt threatened and acted without thinking, and is not a good look for anyone.
- Luke 6:31
- 31 And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.
If you know someones backstory and are connected to them, you are less likely to be aggressive toward them. When it comes to the way other people treat you, you are going to hope that you get the best out of everyone, because you know yourself better than anyone.
So, when it come to treating other people the way you would want to be treated, you really have to work hard to accomplish that. If everyone though about others like they think about themselves imagine what a world we would live in.
- Philippians 4:8
- 8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
If there is something going on in your life, find the good in it. Whether that is hard or easy, there is always a positive side, if you look hard enough. Find the good and let that inspire you to avoid anger.
- Luke 6:37
- 37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
Even if other people judge you, condemn you, or hold grudges, as long as you don’t do those things you will be at peace. Do not let their bad nature put a cloud over your soul. Do what would be pleasing to God and you will be able to overcome your anger.
Remember these scripture when people try your nerves. Pray that God will give you the wisdom to assess situations. Remember the end goal: not letting other peoples actions control you. Focus on the emotions you are feeling in a conflict and think about the other persons stand point. All these things will be your tools to avoiding angry confrontations.